Surfing is proving to be way more challenging than I thought it would be. The waves in the water aren't stopping me, the waves in my life are.
There will always be the challenge of time, or school, or someone that is sick. Those things come up on a regular basis. I'm used to that. What has me stalled is the challenge of balance within myself.
Times have changed and now I'm a mom. Having children has changed more than just my waistline. I view myself differently. I am a mother and I am responsible for someone other than just myself.
Of course, part of my job as a mother is to take good care of myself for the sake of our girls. There are days this is my most difficult task.
A few days ago, I was planning to go surfing by myself when something came over me. As the day I planned to go approached, I became increasingly nervous about going out alone.
I've been nervous before, but this time was different. This time, I felt irresponsible. This time, I thought about taking care of our children's mother.
When I was in my twenties, I was responsible only for myself. That combined with stamina and confidence made me a little more daring. Now I'm a little more cautious.
I don't claim to be supermom, but I am and want to be 100 percent present in our kids' lives. Being careless and getting hurt won't accomplish that.
The last time I went surfing I had concerns about being alone, but the excitement of getting back into the water kept other fears at bay.
I was anxious, but in a good way.
I am well aware that as I get older my stamina and physical shape changes, but I refuse to let any of that hold me back. Which is why this week I am once again excited. And I have a date.
My husband and I have planned a surf date. We are going to go to our non-super secret location. I haven't been there in years and have been looking forward to going with him.
Too much time has passed since we last surfed together and a long time coming for us to go again. I have every detail worked out. All I need now is a healthy coat of board wax and I am good to go.
The forecast for the day: Excitement with a chance of wave riding.
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